Tuesday, 10 January 2012

When you Complain.......

We are always encouraged to complain to the NHS when things go wrong and yet so often a complaint results in reprisals. Why is this? And why is there denial about this very common psychological phenomenon? After all, we are always a little wary of complaining incase there is a comeback.So often we have ourselves, and have had direct experience of others, been victims of the very fact that we have decided to make a complaint. The organisation S.I.N. notice that following medical damage, prejudicial things are often written in the patients Notes that are aimed at discrediting the patient who makes a complaint.

Lets take a look at this:

Last summer I had to make several complaints against nurses coming to my home to perform a medical procedure on my mother each day. When I found that they were causing problems because they were making mistakes in the performance of this procedure, they became more difficult, more antagonistic towards me and bullying. I had to take to watching them perform the procedure each day to make sure that they didn't make mistakes and damage my mother further. They didn't like this. Boy oh boy, they didn't like this one bit. At this time they "decide" to pay me back. Lies, especially secret lies, are their weapon.( All to be revealed later.)

Now, very basic psychology tells us that if we upset people they wont like us for it...... and the fact that these nurses are "professionals" does not mean that they somehow don't react according to their animal instincts. What professionals will be inclined to do is to protect each other by demonising the outsider,in this case, me. The group, like a pack of animals, grows closer in mutual support, they make up fantasies about someone who is a threat to them, and whip up their demonisation to the extent that they convince themselves that it is true.. This demonisation is not always conscious, of course, as we have examined before,rather the very fact that it is a group of people in an animal drive means that they cannot see what they are doing, they are unaware of their own psychological impetus.

I once tried to tell folks in Home Education to be careful not to upset people from the local authority who insist upon coming into their homes to inspect the children. Unfortunately, I did not take my own advice! The fact is,once you upset someone, anyone, who comes into your home, who has group power to hurt you if they so wish, you can expect that you are in potentially big trouble: wounded animals hurt back.

The other thing to mention is that as a sole carer I was vulnerable anyway. Had I had family to support me, then there would have have been more of a balance, one group against another. As things were, there was just me and my vulnerable mother up against the "wounded animal syndrome" the nurses were possessed of. No match. A dying woman and a carer dead on her feet. Easy victims. Any individual or group will weigh up instinctively whether they have an opponent to fear or not. The group of nurses knew that they were safe.. and able to abuse a lone, exhausted carer and an old woman with cancer.

The denouement was indeed catastrophic. Both myself and my dear mother ended up being complete victims of the group of nurses. They came after our blood.
I will be back to tell you about this at a later date, but in the meantime, please be careful if you have professionals in your home who could hurt you. Use a dictaphone, have witnesses when you deal with these people and, if like me you have to complain, make sure you are well protected with evidence against them. There is nothing that they wont do to hurt you if you are vulnerable. Lying is the least they will do. Believe me, they will turn the tables on you if they get a chance. Just as in the case of Home Education, nurses in your home can look to find things they can use to lie about you, to incriminate you, distort their assessments of care or medical problems, anything, or by any means, they can and will feed their wounded animal syndrome... And guess what? Because they come in pairs and are part of a group, they have a witness and YOU DON'T. Take care. Please remember that they can hurt you and you cannot access the law to protect yourself or your loved one against a professional group like this.

Oh, and victims of Care Homes beware, it is NOT against the law to neglect an elderly person in a Care Home. That's why it is called "neglect", it is a euphemism for "abuse" and as such is deemed to be passive and therefore innocent. More on this later too..... Did you ever wonder why it is that Care Home staff go on abusing the elderly? Well, here's your answer: it is not a crime to neglect someone, under the law it is a non-deliberate, passive, an unconscious act. You wont sleep easy to read this, folks, but Care Home staff continue to abuse old people.... and will go on doing so....... because they have nothing to fear in the way of punishment.Please join me trying to get the law changed; it is the only way of stopping the abuse of our old folks.

1 comment:

  1. I USED to work in the nhs, first in A+E then on the wards. I tried to complain about the care, or lack of, on the wards and suddenly my shifts dried up. I was working for the nhs's own agency doing 3-4 shifts a week and after I complained I got maybe 2 shifts a month. One bad day I phoned my hubby crying about the state of some of the patients and he told me to leave...so I did and never looked back. I now home ed our son (where I heard about your blog and your mum) and am studying for a BA history via the OU. I absolutley agree the nhs will close ranks and be vicious when questioned.