I didn't know whether to tell my mum that she had been excluded from a test to determine eligibility for a drug. Should she know that her autonomy had been walked all over? Would it make her give up on her life? In the end I told her yesterday. I thought it might give her back her fighting spirit.
She didn't know that there had been a test that she had been denied.Inspite of going to the meeting (alone) with the oncologist where the "whole picture" was discussed, she had no idea that there was a drug she might have had to hold back the cancer. Doesn't this prove the point? That no one, let alone someone elderly, can assimilate, or question, information of this gravity in an appointment when alone, and that it is imperative not to go to these appointments unsupported. But,as we know, the appointment wasn't to discuss all her options, it was to persuade her to do what the doctor wanted her to do. I suppose it is more accurate to say "what the whole clinical team wanted for her" since all the staff were involved in taking away not only her autonomy, but her right to information as well.
The whole clinical team? So here we have the discrepancy of the team deciding to opt my mum out of treatment and the S.H.O. telling me that she had/ or would have the test. Strange. The S.H.O. was not telling the truth.... and yet the SHO would have been part of the team. So at what point did they decide to make decisions FOR my mum and exclude tests from her secretly? The answer is I don't know. Why should we be told, we are only the relative and the patient with no rights at all.
The new consultant is reviewing my mum's medical notes and will come to a decision. I fancy that the decision will be the same one that was made before, don't you? Doctors stick together. It is almost impossible to get a truly honest second opinion because doctors support each other.
Look, I'm coming back when I find out yet another forgone conclusion. I will let you know.
Meanwhile, please never trust an SHO., it could be a matter of life or death. Speak ONLY to the Consultant and if you can, get copies of the notes every week. If you have the notes in your possession they cannot come back and alter the notes should something go wrong with your loved ones treatment.
Best to all........
Saturday, 17 September 2011
Thursday, 15 September 2011
Royal United Hospital, Bath, named and shamed..
Thursday, 15th September.
I put in my complaint to the hospital last week. That stirred it up. The cancer manager phoned me yesterday with assurances that they always make the patient part of the decision making process, that my mum hasn't been shut out of treatment because of money and they do care ! I also spoke to a Lung Nurse Specialist yesterday. I demanded that they confirm that the test for a cell marker had not been done and that therefore they had never intended to offer my mum treatment (really patient-centred). I suppose I hoped that maybe they had done it, at least DONE the test, and then got my mum on her own to convince her not to have treatment. Hmmmmmm, I'm not sure that that is a lesser evil.
Anyhow, so the nurse specialist actually managed to phone me this morning. What a lovely start to the day. And, yes, it's true, they NEVER did the test. They never intended to offer my lovely old mum a choice as to whether she had treatment because they never did the test for the cell marker. Whoa. Of course, elderly abuse is rife in hospitals and care homes in the U.K., but I thought I was on top of it. Like I said in my previous blog, I thought that having a relative watching and checking whatever they did would prevent my mum being a victim to them. And I have let her down, using all my strength and resources, I have still let her down.
So did I try to chase up this test? Yes, with everything I had, against the barrier of misinformation, elusive staff, personal stress and upset, yes I did try. They sometimes said that it had been done, sometimes that it would be done,that they would let me know. Then the person I spoke to went off for a few days, the S.H.O. changed and I couldn't hunt them down. Of course, simultaneously there were the other issues of my mum's distress, not getting things to eat, forgotten medication, etc., and I couldn't cope with it all.
Anyhow, they are well and truly stitched up. We can have another consultant,isn't that kind of them? The only problem is that the new consultant won't be able to give an independent opinion, they said. Or did I hear that right.
Got to go now... I demanded they do the test, by the way. I wonder if they will oblige? Maybe they'll refuse on the grounds that it's too late now to offer my mum treatment even if there was a cell marker?
I put in my complaint to the hospital last week. That stirred it up. The cancer manager phoned me yesterday with assurances that they always make the patient part of the decision making process, that my mum hasn't been shut out of treatment because of money and they do care ! I also spoke to a Lung Nurse Specialist yesterday. I demanded that they confirm that the test for a cell marker had not been done and that therefore they had never intended to offer my mum treatment (really patient-centred). I suppose I hoped that maybe they had done it, at least DONE the test, and then got my mum on her own to convince her not to have treatment. Hmmmmmm, I'm not sure that that is a lesser evil.
Anyhow, so the nurse specialist actually managed to phone me this morning. What a lovely start to the day. And, yes, it's true, they NEVER did the test. They never intended to offer my lovely old mum a choice as to whether she had treatment because they never did the test for the cell marker. Whoa. Of course, elderly abuse is rife in hospitals and care homes in the U.K., but I thought I was on top of it. Like I said in my previous blog, I thought that having a relative watching and checking whatever they did would prevent my mum being a victim to them. And I have let her down, using all my strength and resources, I have still let her down.
So did I try to chase up this test? Yes, with everything I had, against the barrier of misinformation, elusive staff, personal stress and upset, yes I did try. They sometimes said that it had been done, sometimes that it would be done,that they would let me know. Then the person I spoke to went off for a few days, the S.H.O. changed and I couldn't hunt them down. Of course, simultaneously there were the other issues of my mum's distress, not getting things to eat, forgotten medication, etc., and I couldn't cope with it all.
Anyhow, they are well and truly stitched up. We can have another consultant,isn't that kind of them? The only problem is that the new consultant won't be able to give an independent opinion, they said. Or did I hear that right.
Got to go now... I demanded they do the test, by the way. I wonder if they will oblige? Maybe they'll refuse on the grounds that it's too late now to offer my mum treatment even if there was a cell marker?
Wednesday, 7 September 2011
Elderly abuse in the N.H.S., Royal United Hospital, Bath.
My mother has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer. Of course, when someone is innocent of self-caused lung cancer, one has to say in one breath, "My mother has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer-but-she-never-smoked-or-went-to-pubs-or-clubs." The reason for this is stigma: it's a dirty illness that carries the stigma of being consequent upon the insane self-indulgence of smoking.
(This blog takes us right back to the issue of the pervasive discrimination against the elderly and doesn't cover the ins and outs of smoking.)
Okay, so what am I up in arms about this time? Well, from the time my mother was admitted to the local hospital with symptoms thought to be a worsening of her heart failure, there have been a catalogue of errors, malpractice events, disrespect and blunderings. Good old N.H.S. !!!!! Just like you see in the media! ....And we really thought that medical abuse of the elderly happened in isolated pockets where there were serious breakdowns of management. Or did we? I, for one, see the exposure of abuse of the vulnerable in recent years in our hospitals and Care Homes as the tip of the iceberg. By the nature of things most cases will be ignored, suppressed and protected by the "group". The fact that SOME are leaking out, tells us that the real number of cases inhabit the system pervasively. Why? Because it is a basic psychological fact that where there are vulnerable people to abuse, abuse will take place. A system of protection can never be robust enough because group dynamics always dictate that any group will protect itself and its members from discovery.
Why "psychological fact"? Well, the need to have dominance over others is part of our biological nature and with some people this need is not civilised,they therefore take their chance to hurt people who are in a vulnerable state. Please see earlier blogs where I explain this in full.
So how did my mother's experience correspond to what we hear in the media? Well, there was the matter of staff not noticing that my mum had trouble swallowing. They sort of knew this as evidenced by her feeling nauseous, but kind of switched off to it. The problem was only addressed when I frightened the hell out of the staff with direct reference to the matter being revealed to the local press! What was my mum eating each day?My mum was having one soup a day. The one meal that menued soup was dinner (6pm), so she had nothing for breakfast or lunch or supper because there was no soup on offer.
And what else? Hmmmmmmmmm......... Well, when she was first admitted around 3.00 a.m. she had severe breathing difficulties requiring a drain to be inserted into her right lung. She was writhing in desperation to get air, an oxygen mask made no difference whatsoever. So they drained the lung, right? Wrong. They left her in hell for more than 7 hours because they could not, ostensibly, put in a drain at night due to there not being necessary support staff. What?you may ask. A city hospital with no support staff at night? !!!!!!!!!! Are we going mad? So what would happen if there was an RTA and the casualty had a collapsed lung? They'd let him die for want of support staff? Or could this be a matter of hierarchy of need? Pardon me for being cynical, but could it be that the plight of an elderly woman, suffering complete hell, was not so urgent or important as an RTA victim, not so conspicuous, not so motivating? Well, I think so. Suffering,and compassion for that suffering, didn't actually amount to much when it came to someone elderly. It's the same old story.
And there's more? Yes, there is so much more.... What about them forgetting to give medication? They didn't do that as well did they?
You've got it! You must have experience of the good old NHS as well! Yes, my mum had to remind them to give her her medication. She's very compos mentis you see and noticed their every error. One day they forgot to give her an injection that is given to prevent patients having a stroke. She was still reminding them at midnight that day. The next day she told them again. They checked in the Notes and found no tick for the injection! What a surprise! I looked at the Notes around lunch time and was told that although there was no tick, they probably had given her the drug !!!! I told them that they had not. Forgetting to give medication was quite routine.
Not another problem? Well,this is the biggest problem so far so please stay with me..... S.H.Os., Junior doctors, are a real problem. They have neither the experience nor the authority to say what they say. Countless times I asked if my mum could have cancer treatment and I was told that she would have a say in whatever treatment she had or didn't have. "Yes", they said, she would have a say in her treatment. She could possibly have a drug to hold back the cancer, and a test for a cell marker to determine if she might be eligible for that drug had been done and they would let us know. The next week I asked for the results of the test and was told it hadn't been done yet. They would test the fluid from her lung to find the marker. Hmmmmmmmmm. So the following week I asked again. Still no test. My mum was then discharged and we were supposed to go for a appointment with the consultant in a few weeks. As it happened my mum was readmitted prior to this appointment because her breathing had worsened again (sticking the lung to the chest wall hadn't worked).
Now for the shocker: The day before the appointment in outpatients, I asked the SHO if my mum would have to go to the outpatient appointment in the morning. She answered that since my mum was now an inpatient, all outpatient appointments would be cancelled automatically. Are you sure? I said. Yes, she said , the consultant would make a visit to her on the ward instead. So the next day I arrived on the ward at lunch time to see my mother JUST IN TIME TO SEE THAT MY MUM HAD JUST RETURNED from her outpatient appointment where she had been taken ALONE without family or friend to be with her. And guess what? The consultant had persuaded her not to have treatment. Fait accompli. They never NEVER intended to do a biopsy to test for a marker and, ALONE, my mum was steered away from treatment. Now, okay, not having treatment may have been the best thing and we may have come to that conclusion ourselves, but she was never going to be allowed to make a decision herself, she was never respected enough as AN ADULT to be allowed to ponder the facts and decide for herself and in the end it was not even thought to be necessary for her to have family backup in her first oncology appointment.I wonder why? And all the misinformation given to me by the SHOs, all the falsehoods, all the false hopes, now became crystal clear as meanderings that were never intended to offer my mum treatment for her cancer. Never. They had never done a biopsy and never intended to do so. She had been opted out of treatment as if she was a non-person, way back.
My advise to you would be to NEVER TRUST AN S.H.O., they are nothing more than children way out of their depth, imparting information that they are unsure of and taking no responsibility for what they say or their actions.
What else do we learn from this experience? Well, we can see that, as in the case of my mum, having a relative observing "the goings on" at the hospital is a sure way of an elderly person being protected. Conversely,it is also transparently obvious that old folks who are away from the protective gaze of relatives are likely to be abused. Certainly, my mother would have been in a very bad state had she not had me to look after her.
So how on earth could we stop this abuse? I think that the public should have a role in this: members of the public should have random access to hospitals and care homes. It's the only way.Please let me know what you think.......
All the Best to you..
www.carersconnectint.com
(This blog takes us right back to the issue of the pervasive discrimination against the elderly and doesn't cover the ins and outs of smoking.)
Okay, so what am I up in arms about this time? Well, from the time my mother was admitted to the local hospital with symptoms thought to be a worsening of her heart failure, there have been a catalogue of errors, malpractice events, disrespect and blunderings. Good old N.H.S. !!!!! Just like you see in the media! ....And we really thought that medical abuse of the elderly happened in isolated pockets where there were serious breakdowns of management. Or did we? I, for one, see the exposure of abuse of the vulnerable in recent years in our hospitals and Care Homes as the tip of the iceberg. By the nature of things most cases will be ignored, suppressed and protected by the "group". The fact that SOME are leaking out, tells us that the real number of cases inhabit the system pervasively. Why? Because it is a basic psychological fact that where there are vulnerable people to abuse, abuse will take place. A system of protection can never be robust enough because group dynamics always dictate that any group will protect itself and its members from discovery.
Why "psychological fact"? Well, the need to have dominance over others is part of our biological nature and with some people this need is not civilised,they therefore take their chance to hurt people who are in a vulnerable state. Please see earlier blogs where I explain this in full.
So how did my mother's experience correspond to what we hear in the media? Well, there was the matter of staff not noticing that my mum had trouble swallowing. They sort of knew this as evidenced by her feeling nauseous, but kind of switched off to it. The problem was only addressed when I frightened the hell out of the staff with direct reference to the matter being revealed to the local press! What was my mum eating each day?My mum was having one soup a day. The one meal that menued soup was dinner (6pm), so she had nothing for breakfast or lunch or supper because there was no soup on offer.
And what else? Hmmmmmmmmm......... Well, when she was first admitted around 3.00 a.m. she had severe breathing difficulties requiring a drain to be inserted into her right lung. She was writhing in desperation to get air, an oxygen mask made no difference whatsoever. So they drained the lung, right? Wrong. They left her in hell for more than 7 hours because they could not, ostensibly, put in a drain at night due to there not being necessary support staff. What?you may ask. A city hospital with no support staff at night? !!!!!!!!!! Are we going mad? So what would happen if there was an RTA and the casualty had a collapsed lung? They'd let him die for want of support staff? Or could this be a matter of hierarchy of need? Pardon me for being cynical, but could it be that the plight of an elderly woman, suffering complete hell, was not so urgent or important as an RTA victim, not so conspicuous, not so motivating? Well, I think so. Suffering,and compassion for that suffering, didn't actually amount to much when it came to someone elderly. It's the same old story.
And there's more? Yes, there is so much more.... What about them forgetting to give medication? They didn't do that as well did they?
You've got it! You must have experience of the good old NHS as well! Yes, my mum had to remind them to give her her medication. She's very compos mentis you see and noticed their every error. One day they forgot to give her an injection that is given to prevent patients having a stroke. She was still reminding them at midnight that day. The next day she told them again. They checked in the Notes and found no tick for the injection! What a surprise! I looked at the Notes around lunch time and was told that although there was no tick, they probably had given her the drug !!!! I told them that they had not. Forgetting to give medication was quite routine.
Not another problem? Well,this is the biggest problem so far so please stay with me..... S.H.Os., Junior doctors, are a real problem. They have neither the experience nor the authority to say what they say. Countless times I asked if my mum could have cancer treatment and I was told that she would have a say in whatever treatment she had or didn't have. "Yes", they said, she would have a say in her treatment. She could possibly have a drug to hold back the cancer, and a test for a cell marker to determine if she might be eligible for that drug had been done and they would let us know. The next week I asked for the results of the test and was told it hadn't been done yet. They would test the fluid from her lung to find the marker. Hmmmmmmmmm. So the following week I asked again. Still no test. My mum was then discharged and we were supposed to go for a appointment with the consultant in a few weeks. As it happened my mum was readmitted prior to this appointment because her breathing had worsened again (sticking the lung to the chest wall hadn't worked).
Now for the shocker: The day before the appointment in outpatients, I asked the SHO if my mum would have to go to the outpatient appointment in the morning. She answered that since my mum was now an inpatient, all outpatient appointments would be cancelled automatically. Are you sure? I said. Yes, she said , the consultant would make a visit to her on the ward instead. So the next day I arrived on the ward at lunch time to see my mother JUST IN TIME TO SEE THAT MY MUM HAD JUST RETURNED from her outpatient appointment where she had been taken ALONE without family or friend to be with her. And guess what? The consultant had persuaded her not to have treatment. Fait accompli. They never NEVER intended to do a biopsy to test for a marker and, ALONE, my mum was steered away from treatment. Now, okay, not having treatment may have been the best thing and we may have come to that conclusion ourselves, but she was never going to be allowed to make a decision herself, she was never respected enough as AN ADULT to be allowed to ponder the facts and decide for herself and in the end it was not even thought to be necessary for her to have family backup in her first oncology appointment.I wonder why? And all the misinformation given to me by the SHOs, all the falsehoods, all the false hopes, now became crystal clear as meanderings that were never intended to offer my mum treatment for her cancer. Never. They had never done a biopsy and never intended to do so. She had been opted out of treatment as if she was a non-person, way back.
My advise to you would be to NEVER TRUST AN S.H.O., they are nothing more than children way out of their depth, imparting information that they are unsure of and taking no responsibility for what they say or their actions.
What else do we learn from this experience? Well, we can see that, as in the case of my mum, having a relative observing "the goings on" at the hospital is a sure way of an elderly person being protected. Conversely,it is also transparently obvious that old folks who are away from the protective gaze of relatives are likely to be abused. Certainly, my mother would have been in a very bad state had she not had me to look after her.
So how on earth could we stop this abuse? I think that the public should have a role in this: members of the public should have random access to hospitals and care homes. It's the only way.Please let me know what you think.......
All the Best to you..
www.carersconnectint.com
Thursday, 28 July 2011
Asking for help.........
Okay, so like me you may end up going to someone for help. My man turned out to be in a church. Of church-going people you should be extremely careful. There are good people in churches, of course, but many folks who gravitate to God's service are really up to no good. Look, how many people who actually bully their wives or children have you come across in a church, desperate to prove to themselves and others that they are good people?
Just take a look at basic examples of the way bullies function: My father was a sadistic bully. Bad enough to shock Childline when I called years later as an adult. And what did he do to make sure no one found out what he was really like? He was as nice and kind as it was possible to be to people outside the home. Outside the home! Clever. So people thought he was a nice man. In fact he was so good at this game of deception, that he lied about me and my mum, and his many friends he'd sucked up to over the years believed him. So, what do you gain from this example? Simple, you learn that sometimes the person who offers you the most kindness, who promotes himself as a super-good person, may well be a secret bully.The motivation behind a person's kindness is the key here.
In my recent encounter, my "kind, saintly, helper" even tried to offer me the miracle of money ! Yes, even that old seduction! To be honest, I did think it a bit odd, and I didn't think it was really going to happen, but it's tempting to think that the offer is genuine. Down the line he decided that God didn't want him to help me with money at all because God wanted him to help a bigger cause than just little me! .... What does this remind you of? Well, this is a classic way to break someones self esteem. Tempt them with the notion of being lucky, then give the good luck to someone else. Someone who does this sort of thing will have been doing it most of their lives. It is what is called "learned behaviour". They don't know or understand WHY they are doing it, it is just part of their makeup, part of their domination of people.
Coming back sooooooooooooon.
Just take a look at basic examples of the way bullies function: My father was a sadistic bully. Bad enough to shock Childline when I called years later as an adult. And what did he do to make sure no one found out what he was really like? He was as nice and kind as it was possible to be to people outside the home. Outside the home! Clever. So people thought he was a nice man. In fact he was so good at this game of deception, that he lied about me and my mum, and his many friends he'd sucked up to over the years believed him. So, what do you gain from this example? Simple, you learn that sometimes the person who offers you the most kindness, who promotes himself as a super-good person, may well be a secret bully.The motivation behind a person's kindness is the key here.
In my recent encounter, my "kind, saintly, helper" even tried to offer me the miracle of money ! Yes, even that old seduction! To be honest, I did think it a bit odd, and I didn't think it was really going to happen, but it's tempting to think that the offer is genuine. Down the line he decided that God didn't want him to help me with money at all because God wanted him to help a bigger cause than just little me! .... What does this remind you of? Well, this is a classic way to break someones self esteem. Tempt them with the notion of being lucky, then give the good luck to someone else. Someone who does this sort of thing will have been doing it most of their lives. It is what is called "learned behaviour". They don't know or understand WHY they are doing it, it is just part of their makeup, part of their domination of people.
Coming back sooooooooooooon.
Friday, 24 June 2011
Asthma medication: Intal Spincaps.
Hi Everybody!
Just beginning a blog about my asthma medication!
I have been using Intal Spincaps for more than 40 years.They are fantastic. I have never had an asthma attack and I just use one capsule at night at most. BUT THEY ARE BEING DISCONTINUED. I have tried the alternative in a "puffer" inhaler which made me very asthmatic, getting worse and worse, and eventually, when I got some more spincaps, it took 8 months for my lungs to recover.I also tried all sorts of inhalers which didn't work. The reason I am great with hardly any asthma problems at all is because I am on Intal Spincaps.Other medications turn me into a struggling asthmatic. Bad bad bad............
Please post if you want them to keep making the spincaps....
Best Wishes to all,
Just beginning a blog about my asthma medication!
I have been using Intal Spincaps for more than 40 years.They are fantastic. I have never had an asthma attack and I just use one capsule at night at most. BUT THEY ARE BEING DISCONTINUED. I have tried the alternative in a "puffer" inhaler which made me very asthmatic, getting worse and worse, and eventually, when I got some more spincaps, it took 8 months for my lungs to recover.I also tried all sorts of inhalers which didn't work. The reason I am great with hardly any asthma problems at all is because I am on Intal Spincaps.Other medications turn me into a struggling asthmatic. Bad bad bad............
Please post if you want them to keep making the spincaps....
Best Wishes to all,
When we ask for help.....
I have been in personal turmoil recently and, even knowing the psychology of vulnerability, I did ask for help! My mum has been ill and, true to human nature, this has made me vulnerable to mental abuse. So what's new?
I should read my own blog!
This blog explores what happens when we become needy. What happens to us, and what happens when we ask for help from another person.
We have long explored why it is that people who have needs are easy victims: the sick, children, women, the mentally ill.
Okay, so if we ask someone close to us, someone trusted, there is less chance of being on the receiving end of power-play, but not always. Another safeguard is the fact that with people close to us there is a RELATIONSHIP, a mutuality. An emotional bond, a history of two-way kindness and respect is more likely to be present and this balances the potential power of both parties.
The problem arises when we ask people who would take advantage of our neediness, the sort of people who need or enjoy power over someone else. Of course this disposition may be unconscious, but folks who take advantage of others in this way will have a diminished sense of what they are doing. They need to have diminished conscience BECAUSE it enables them to behave in the way they do. So, look, if you approach someone you don't know, say in a church or in many cases a professional of some sort, the fact that they are immediately put in a position of power by the very fact of you needing them, will open the door to you being mentally abused.
So what is it that the giver wants from you? Givers, those offering kindness or good deeds, usually want something. Sounds odd? Well, it's true. Often these people have a need to offer kindness. It helps them in their lives. Makes them feel better and often counteracts something bad they have done or are doing to others. Okay, so there are SOME people who are genuinely nice people, but not all. If you ask for help from someone, look out for signs that they might be the sort that might abuse you. Think. Think about what they tell you and what their motivation might be. Are you going to be used to serve some purpose for THEM.
Like I said at the start of this blog, I have recently asked for help from someone. I felt overwhelmed and was searching for someone to turn to. I saw some signs..... The man was gender-bigoted from the outset. He had a desperate need to do good deeds. These good deeds he needed to be as big, egotistically big,as possible and he had ideas that were indicative of power and control. SO why did I proceed? I think, like all of us when we are needy, that my distress was bigger than my common sense.
I'm coming back soon to explore this further...
I should read my own blog!
This blog explores what happens when we become needy. What happens to us, and what happens when we ask for help from another person.
We have long explored why it is that people who have needs are easy victims: the sick, children, women, the mentally ill.
Okay, so if we ask someone close to us, someone trusted, there is less chance of being on the receiving end of power-play, but not always. Another safeguard is the fact that with people close to us there is a RELATIONSHIP, a mutuality. An emotional bond, a history of two-way kindness and respect is more likely to be present and this balances the potential power of both parties.
The problem arises when we ask people who would take advantage of our neediness, the sort of people who need or enjoy power over someone else. Of course this disposition may be unconscious, but folks who take advantage of others in this way will have a diminished sense of what they are doing. They need to have diminished conscience BECAUSE it enables them to behave in the way they do. So, look, if you approach someone you don't know, say in a church or in many cases a professional of some sort, the fact that they are immediately put in a position of power by the very fact of you needing them, will open the door to you being mentally abused.
So what is it that the giver wants from you? Givers, those offering kindness or good deeds, usually want something. Sounds odd? Well, it's true. Often these people have a need to offer kindness. It helps them in their lives. Makes them feel better and often counteracts something bad they have done or are doing to others. Okay, so there are SOME people who are genuinely nice people, but not all. If you ask for help from someone, look out for signs that they might be the sort that might abuse you. Think. Think about what they tell you and what their motivation might be. Are you going to be used to serve some purpose for THEM.
Like I said at the start of this blog, I have recently asked for help from someone. I felt overwhelmed and was searching for someone to turn to. I saw some signs..... The man was gender-bigoted from the outset. He had a desperate need to do good deeds. These good deeds he needed to be as big, egotistically big,as possible and he had ideas that were indicative of power and control. SO why did I proceed? I think, like all of us when we are needy, that my distress was bigger than my common sense.
I'm coming back soon to explore this further...
Tuesday, 9 November 2010
Psychiatry and Psychotherapy, hand in hand.
"Abandon yourself all ye who enter here!"
This is what you do when you give yourself into the hands of psychotherapy. It reminds me of an abdication: you do it voluntarily but there are forces beyond your control that push you into that seat!
Of course, unless you are very unlucky, you don`t put yourself into the "hands", literally, of a psychotherapist! Rather you allow yourself to be formed and moulded by the imagination of your therapist. Yes, I chose that word carefully, so I`ll repeat it: IMAGINATION. The therapist you see doesn`t KNOW what your dreams mean, he doesn`t KNOW what things, even if there are exogenous causes, are making you depressed or anxious, he just decides these things himself based upon whatever training he has received and/or where his own personal psychological makeup leads him. In other words, you`ve got, it`s subjective.
Let me come out of the woodwork and disclose that in the past I have been the victim of a psychotherapist and have thought long and hard about what he did, why he did it and HOW he was able to do this. I have also taken great care not to colour my view solely on my own experiences; I have watched how the pattern is repeated on others.
Of course, I was a victim when I went to him, that helps! You can`t lay onto someone your ideas about them ..unless they are vulnerable in the first place. Of course not. This fits the classic victim model. After years of mental abuse, complete destruction of my self and my self-esteem, I reclaimed my real identity. It is with this experience ..and witnessing the abuse of others, that I have come to an understanding of the truth about psychotherapy.
Look, what does having someone in a weak, vulnerable, dependent state remind you of? Have you got it? Yes, it`s the parent-child relationship. A therapist is always the parent and you are the child. As such he directs and controls and creates you; he attributes your actions, or misattributes them as HE wishes. When he learns things about you, he makes decisions about why you are this way or what you do to cause others to treat you the way they do. But this is what he is meant to do isn`t it? He is sure to be correct isn`t he? Well, no, he is shaping you according to his needs, his ego, HIS psychology. What he decides may have little to do with you at all. And what is more, because you are his dependent child, you absorb and incorporate what he persuades you is really you.
But don`t therapists have supervision? Yes, they do, of course, but you have to bear this in mind: the therapist relays what he thinks is going on with you, to his supervisor. The supervisor gets it second hand, doctored, misattributed, twisted, so his views are based upon what he hears about you from your "parent". Then you have both of them on an ego trip together, upholding each other, giving each other`s position support. The supervisor will see things as changed by the therapist`s subjectivity and his psychological past, then he will change things according to his relationship with the therapist and his own psychological history.You have become something that is not you.Okay, so you follow me so far? The very practice of psychotherapy is a very power-centred adult activity in which most professionals, unconsciously, collude.
At its most abusive, a therapist will MAKE you, by one method or another, believe that you are what he thinks you are. He will even cause you to fit his view of you. He may even think that he is helping you, making you face your guilt, revealing your past, but actually, he is wanting to fit you into his psychological past. It`s an unconscious need he has. He might twist things, unknowingly, so that you fit the characteristics of his mother, but this time he is in the driving seat. Or you become his father, his father in a place where he can win. There are numerous permutations of the identity you might become in relation to him and there is no way, supervision or not, he will be aware of what he is doing.
The frightening thing about this is that no one in the system will be aware that his "professional" view is subjective, dressed up as it is with "professional" credibility and receiving as it does, gratis, the respect of colleagues.
Like psychiatry, psychotherapy it not at all interested in the real reasons why you are depressed. Isn`t it strange? Neither "professions" are remotely interested in research that might show depression or psychosis to be physical health conditions. They are interested in fitting your depression to a non-testable cause that, coincidentally, either requires psychotherapy or medication. Really the two professions are hand-in-hand, one mopping up the money that the other doesn`t, one controlling and abusing you in one way, the other in a different way. Whenever did you go to a psychiatrist or be referred to a psychotherapist, after a thorough medical? Did anyone find out if your hormones are balanced or that you have a gut dysbiosis that releases toxins into your bloodstream, before you were given medication or before you signed over enormous fees to your therapist? Or course not. The two professions would not do things that would deprive themselves of their livelihood or their credibility.It`s not just about money, either, it`s about their group needs. The belief that people`s brain chemistry is awry, or that their childhood makes them depressed, serves the theories that hold these groups together, creates a constant service of clients and makes sure that society has a hierarchical structure based upon the professional, in a parental role, and his underling, the patient or client.
We all know people who are apparently depressed because of events in their lives, who take up one or other of these self-suppressing "solutions". But have you noticed the flaw in the argument? Many people who have terrible childhoods, don`t end up depressed ! So WHAT really is the common-denominator, then? If it isn`t your brain chemistry, you`ll need psychotherapy? No, I don`t think so, do you? It might be that your gut is making you depressed.... and you can fix that all on your little own without a mental health label or handing over your precious self.
Please join me soooooooooooooooon. I want to talk about why the M.E. Association might not want research into antibiotic damage to the gut.
Very Best Wishes from me to you... Think for yourself, you`re worth it!
This is what you do when you give yourself into the hands of psychotherapy. It reminds me of an abdication: you do it voluntarily but there are forces beyond your control that push you into that seat!
Of course, unless you are very unlucky, you don`t put yourself into the "hands", literally, of a psychotherapist! Rather you allow yourself to be formed and moulded by the imagination of your therapist. Yes, I chose that word carefully, so I`ll repeat it: IMAGINATION. The therapist you see doesn`t KNOW what your dreams mean, he doesn`t KNOW what things, even if there are exogenous causes, are making you depressed or anxious, he just decides these things himself based upon whatever training he has received and/or where his own personal psychological makeup leads him. In other words, you`ve got, it`s subjective.
Let me come out of the woodwork and disclose that in the past I have been the victim of a psychotherapist and have thought long and hard about what he did, why he did it and HOW he was able to do this. I have also taken great care not to colour my view solely on my own experiences; I have watched how the pattern is repeated on others.
Of course, I was a victim when I went to him, that helps! You can`t lay onto someone your ideas about them ..unless they are vulnerable in the first place. Of course not. This fits the classic victim model. After years of mental abuse, complete destruction of my self and my self-esteem, I reclaimed my real identity. It is with this experience ..and witnessing the abuse of others, that I have come to an understanding of the truth about psychotherapy.
Look, what does having someone in a weak, vulnerable, dependent state remind you of? Have you got it? Yes, it`s the parent-child relationship. A therapist is always the parent and you are the child. As such he directs and controls and creates you; he attributes your actions, or misattributes them as HE wishes. When he learns things about you, he makes decisions about why you are this way or what you do to cause others to treat you the way they do. But this is what he is meant to do isn`t it? He is sure to be correct isn`t he? Well, no, he is shaping you according to his needs, his ego, HIS psychology. What he decides may have little to do with you at all. And what is more, because you are his dependent child, you absorb and incorporate what he persuades you is really you.
But don`t therapists have supervision? Yes, they do, of course, but you have to bear this in mind: the therapist relays what he thinks is going on with you, to his supervisor. The supervisor gets it second hand, doctored, misattributed, twisted, so his views are based upon what he hears about you from your "parent". Then you have both of them on an ego trip together, upholding each other, giving each other`s position support. The supervisor will see things as changed by the therapist`s subjectivity and his psychological past, then he will change things according to his relationship with the therapist and his own psychological history.You have become something that is not you.Okay, so you follow me so far? The very practice of psychotherapy is a very power-centred adult activity in which most professionals, unconsciously, collude.
At its most abusive, a therapist will MAKE you, by one method or another, believe that you are what he thinks you are. He will even cause you to fit his view of you. He may even think that he is helping you, making you face your guilt, revealing your past, but actually, he is wanting to fit you into his psychological past. It`s an unconscious need he has. He might twist things, unknowingly, so that you fit the characteristics of his mother, but this time he is in the driving seat. Or you become his father, his father in a place where he can win. There are numerous permutations of the identity you might become in relation to him and there is no way, supervision or not, he will be aware of what he is doing.
The frightening thing about this is that no one in the system will be aware that his "professional" view is subjective, dressed up as it is with "professional" credibility and receiving as it does, gratis, the respect of colleagues.
Like psychiatry, psychotherapy it not at all interested in the real reasons why you are depressed. Isn`t it strange? Neither "professions" are remotely interested in research that might show depression or psychosis to be physical health conditions. They are interested in fitting your depression to a non-testable cause that, coincidentally, either requires psychotherapy or medication. Really the two professions are hand-in-hand, one mopping up the money that the other doesn`t, one controlling and abusing you in one way, the other in a different way. Whenever did you go to a psychiatrist or be referred to a psychotherapist, after a thorough medical? Did anyone find out if your hormones are balanced or that you have a gut dysbiosis that releases toxins into your bloodstream, before you were given medication or before you signed over enormous fees to your therapist? Or course not. The two professions would not do things that would deprive themselves of their livelihood or their credibility.It`s not just about money, either, it`s about their group needs. The belief that people`s brain chemistry is awry, or that their childhood makes them depressed, serves the theories that hold these groups together, creates a constant service of clients and makes sure that society has a hierarchical structure based upon the professional, in a parental role, and his underling, the patient or client.
We all know people who are apparently depressed because of events in their lives, who take up one or other of these self-suppressing "solutions". But have you noticed the flaw in the argument? Many people who have terrible childhoods, don`t end up depressed ! So WHAT really is the common-denominator, then? If it isn`t your brain chemistry, you`ll need psychotherapy? No, I don`t think so, do you? It might be that your gut is making you depressed.... and you can fix that all on your little own without a mental health label or handing over your precious self.
Please join me soooooooooooooooon. I want to talk about why the M.E. Association might not want research into antibiotic damage to the gut.
Very Best Wishes from me to you... Think for yourself, you`re worth it!
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